Are Guys Scared of Popping the Question? Part 2

In part one, I started a rant, more about why girls care so much about how guys pop the question and less about catering to a man's emotions. Backing up my thought process on the "thought that counts."

Ladies and Gentleman (as I am sure my audience is entirely female, with allowances to one, token, male), exhibit A:

A wonderful customer of mine, Scott, proposed to his now wife last winter. As a woman who feels this passionately about the proposal process, I sat him down and asked if he needed help with plan.

He had it all calculated out.

Amanda (his wife) and him always went on a hike around Mount Hood when they went up there and rode the Polar Express. So, he had planned to go on this hike, and the day before go on the hike and decorate a tree in ornaments that were symbolic of their lives together. He added lights to it, and hooked them up to a remote controlled generator. Then day of, they would head to the tree. He would hit the button, she would be shocked, he would drop down on one knee and MAGIC!

Now here's what happened:

It was cold that night. She'd had a long day. They go on the train ride, love it and then get in the car on the way home. "Hey, want to go on our hike?"

"No. I want to go home."

He ignores her and drives to the location, causing irritation on her part. And if you met these two, you would recognize Scott for being very sensitive to her needs. So, this blatant disregard for her feelings was causing quite a stir.

They park, farther away from the tree than he thought. And he began to try to coax her out of the car. She didn't want to get out. It was cold.

But it was tradition.

She was tired.

Please?

No.

"Get out of the car." He finally says exacerbated, getting out himself.

Angrily she slams her door, arms knotted in protest against her chest.

Meanwhile Scott's remote for the generator was, and had been depressed in his pocket, wearing down the battery.

They walk. And walk. And walk. Poor Amanda is not calming down, and Scott's nerves are not settling down either. He sees the tree in the distance and proceeds to try to hit the button. Since she was angry she didn't catch on to him frantically trying to turn the tree on with his magic remote.

The tree just wasn't lighting up.

He gave up the lights dropped to his knee and showed her the ring, and explained how all the ornaments on the tree represented their lives before, during there relationship and how he wanted them to build their lives together.

Expecting tears, a "yes!" and a kiss, he was surprised when she did none of those but said, "I wasn't ready for it, say it again!"

She explained to me, "I was frustrated with him, and the evening. I wasn't expecting him to propose. I wanted him to redo it, so I could take it in."

Really nervous now, he starts over with his speech for her to finally say yes.

To me that story, as it happened, not as it was planned, is the real treasure. This story, the excitement just builds and adds to the authenticity of it. Life rarely happens as planned, but there is always a story.

If there had to be a moral to this tale: guys- plan out the proposal, it makes us feel special that you put that thought into it. Just relax, and know that you will have to be a little flexible with everything, and take it as it comes.

The Pleasures of Palladium

The jewelers best kept secret here, as far as custom work is concerned, is palladium. It's a sister metal to platinum, without the weight or price tag. The same ring in platinum verses palladium is about 40% heavier.

While guys tend to appreciate the weight, people like my customer Cherie don't want to feel weighed down by their jewelry. "I'm really active and a heavy ring, is nice because it let's me know it's there, but not something I like for everyday."

Palladium wears like platinum, in the sense that overtime it will develop patina, or a dull appearance that is remedied by a quick trip to your jeweler. Other than that, it's a naturally occurring white metal, that's hypoallergenic, and doesn't have the heavy handed price tag that platinum does.

You can always email me, or check us on facebook with any questions. Or you can check out the Palladium Guild's facebook for more info.

(P.S. They are running an awesome giveaway.)

How Will You Wear Them? Angelina Jolie Style!

That's right, Ms. Adopts-unfortunate-children-from-every-continent, also pops the pearls on.

This time I will leave you with a jewelry adage regarding pearls. Because they are so sensitive to sweat and chemicals, "They are the last thing you put on before you leave, and they are the first thing you take off when you get home."

Don't Sell Your Gold; Recycle It

Working at a custom jeweler, I am privileged to family heirlooms. Most of the time we see the ones that need repairs so the family can keep the memories of their loved ones alive. But what happens if your Great Aunt Mildred had "interesting taste in jewelry."

Recently I had a customer who had just that happen to her. She loved her eccentric relative but didn't know what do with her large gaudy pieces of gold costume jewelry. There was one ring in particular with white gold wire twisting back and forth with diamonds seemingly woven into the top of the ring.

"I'm just never going to wear it." She said, "but I don't want to sell it, or keep it in my jewelry box."

We suggested she do something radical. We offered to melt down her gold, and create it into something she would wear. She liked rose gold, so we were able extract the gold from her family jewelry and make it into rose gold and create a wonderful piece that she can wear on a regular basis.

Are Guys Scared of Popping the Question? Part 1

Proposals tend to give a lot of men some anxiety. Recently, reading TheGroomSays he talks about how sensitive of an issue proposing can be. He states,

"Well, popping the question kickstarts the wedding process, so that's part of it; and for some (women), it's a measure of how much your partner loves you. The trouble is -- can men actually buy into that philosophy?" (SIC)

He ponders if the proposal is the yard stick of how much he loves you, or the size of the ring.

As a woman, the answer is "yes." It's impossible for us to differentiate between the two. We want the story of the proposal, and the ring to authenticate our story. What some (men) may fail to realize is the first question a woman is asked by her mom, friends, strangers, or the obnoxiously curious mailman is, "How did he ask?"

To say, "Well, we were just sitting on the couch and during a commercial he asked if I would marry him and then hurried to the bathroom so he didn't miss the game, would be a buzz kill and pretty unromantic.

But why does romance even matter? Living in Japan afforded me plenty of interesting experiences. I asked, literally, dozens of women how their husbands proposed, and either they didn't remember, or said it was nothing special. But it should be noted the Japanese, for the most part don't even hold hands in public and would be embarrassed if their lover said, "I love you," in front of their friends.

In America though we have hundreds of books published on romance -even in the self help section. One such example is Emerson Eggrich's Love and Respect. He spends quite a bit of time explaining women need to feel loved, while men need to feel respected. This feeling of being loved, is the root of the need for a cool proposal, and decent size ring.

Do not get me wrong, my boyfriend is no millionaire. So, if during proposing he whips out a 3 carat flawless diamond, I'm going to make a couple of calls to have him investigated for ties to the mob. On the flip side, if I get a plain band, I am going to raise more hell than Ozzie Ozborne in his prime.

That's because I know he has a good job and has the ability.

There is a proverb us American women live by, "where your money is, your heart is also." I am not in the gold digger crowd, but if he blows his money on the latest TV and more power tools, then we are having a come to Jesus meeting.

What a rant, and this is just the warm up. Enter into to the discussion on our facebook page.

September's Birthstone --Sapphire

Everyone with September birthdays get sapphire as their birth stone. Known for it's brilliant blue color, few people realize that sapphires come in every single color (except red. The red ones we call rubies). I have even used the white sapphires (which are clear) as a diamond substitute.

With all the colors of sapphires, I would be remiss, if I didn't mention the color change one. Changing from a blue to purple, depending on the lighting these stones are cherished, though not commonplace in jewelry stores. 

Sapphires are a 9 on the Moh's hardness scale. So they are amazing for everyday wear.

All over the place, we are seeing an increase in sapphire jewelry, much attributed to Kate Middleton and her sapphire engagement ring, given to her by Prince William. 

In myth, the Ten commandments were said to have been carved on sapphire. In Exodus 28:18 some Bibles translate the word "sapir," as sapphires. This particular reference is regarding the stones on the robes of the priests of the Issacar tribe.

All-in-all sapphires are an amazing gemstone, and due to the variety of colors that they're available in a favorite in jewelry.

Laser'ing Your Diamond

That's right, I can laser something onto my diamond. Think of this as the VIN number on your car. Normally, I would tell a customer if they were anxious about this that they can look at their certification and then at their diamond and map the inclusions in order to make sure the stones match.

Now it can be even easier. With the laser, there is no question as to whether or not that's your particular stone. Recently, I even had the privilege of seeing a diamond with the customer's name on it.

While it's not a service we advertise doing for customers, we have taken in some diamonds to have inscribed, and the service was only a couple hundred dollars. For most people assuring peace of mind with such a marking is well worth the price.